Reflections on the Liberation of Auschwitz-75 Years Later

Let me start out by saying I meant to post this yesterday, on the actual anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, but I've been agonizing for about a week about how to write this post.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to go more the historical route, focus more on my experiences or do a combination of the two.  Even as I'm writing this, I don't really have a plan.  This is especially strange for me because I always plan out my blog posts and at least bullet point what I want to talk about.  I do have a collection of photos I want to share, but I'm just going to go with the flow and let the post create itself as I write.  I also want to say that unless otherwise specified, these are all photos I took on my trip in 2015.  I hope you enjoy them.

Let's start out with the basics.  About five years ago, I was doing what every 20-something did at the time when she was bored: scrolled through Facebook.  As I did, I came across a post by someone I went to college with about a trip to Auschwitz with Eva Mozes Kor, a Holocaust survivor who, along with her twin sister, Miriam, was subjected to medical experiments at hands of Josef Mengele.  For a history buff like me, the trip seemed like a dream come true.  Not only to visit Auschwitz, but to do so with a survivor, which is a treat only a select few get to enjoy.  At the same time, it seemed so unlikely that I would be able to go that I actually selected to hide the post so it wouldn't mock me with what couldn't be.  That evening, I went out with Claire for dinner, and, being the wonderful cousin she is, she convinced me to look more into the trip.  It was a once in a lifetime experience, and I would be a fool to pass it up without looking more into it.  I knew she was right, and the rest, as they say, is history.

I know when I write about historical fiction, I spend a lot of time going into the history behind the fiction.  Like I said before, however, this time I just want to focus on my own experiences in the camps, as it is unlike anything I've ever experienced before in my life.  I will have to include a little bit of history now and then, but this is mostly going to be about me.

I want to spend a little bit of time talking about Eva's personality.  She was, without a doubt, one of the most amazing and inspirational women I have ever met, although I feel like those words do not do her justice.  She was also a pistol.  She had no filter, and you never quite knew what was going to come out of her mouth.  Given what she and endured, it never bothered anyone anyway.  Our first night in Krakow, we all ate dinner together in the restaurant in the hotel.  Now, Eva was maybe five feet tall, and she wanted to be seen, so she climbed up on the chair of a booth.  The entire time, her son, Alex, who traveled with her on many of these trips, was saying, "Mom, Mom, please don't do that" while she hushed him and muttered under her breath about getting up on the seat.  Once up there, Eva explained that there were so many of us and only one of her, so when we introduced ourselves, we had to make ourselves memorable.  The example she gave was fall flat on our face.

The next night, we ate dinner together at a large, delicious restaurant near the center square of Krakow, and I was fortunate enough to sit at the same table as Eva.  I couldn't believe it!  I was so excited!  It didn't take long for Eva to set her sights on me and demand, "You!  Why haven't you made yourself memorable to me?"  Stunned, all I could stammer was, "I'm sorry?"  Thankfully, Eva forgave me.  Now, leading up to my trip, I had tried to think of questions I wanted to ask Eva.  At the risk of monopolizing her attention, I finally narrowed it down to two questions, and now was my chance.  I said, "Eva, I have two questions for you."  Unamused and without missing a beat, she immediately asked, "Only two?"  I knew that this was a force to be reckoned with.  I proceeded.  "If you could say one thing to Dr. Mengele, what would it be?"  I knew it was a risky question, and I hoped I hadn't overstepped any sort of unspoken line.  It didn't take long for Eva to come up with an answer: "You no good son of a bitch, how dare you.  Yet, I forgive you.  Not because you deserve it, but because I deserve it."  That was Eva.  Her big push was forgiveness because you as a person don't deserve to carry that hatred around with you, and that it something I have tried to live by, albeit not nearly as successfully.  If Eva could forgive Dr. Mengele for what he did to her, I could forgive anyone who wronged me over the course of my life.  Still processing through that answer, I said to Eva, "I'm a middle school teacher.  If you could send one message to my students, what would it be?"  Eva took a few moments longer than the previous question to come up with an answer.  Finally, she replied, "Tell them that this happened because people kept saying that it wouldn't happen, that they didn't believe it would happen, that they didn't speak up when they saw something wrong."  Later, Eva told us she'd rather speak up and be wrong about something than not speak up and find out something terrible happened.  Perhaps it was her way of embodying the phrase, "Never Again".  I'm forever grateful for those conversations with Eva.

Most people don't know that Auschwitz was actually a series of camps, the largest and most prominent were Auschwitz I and Auschwitz II, which is mostly referred to as Birkenau.  Auschwitz I is known for the sign that says "Arbeit Macht Frei", while Birkenau is known for the long, brown building with the train tracks cutting through the middle.  Since Eva spent time at both camps, so did we.

Just like most prisoners, when Eva and her family arrived in Auschwitz in March of 1944, they were taken right to Birkenau and the selection platform.  This was the last time the family was together.  Given their age, Eva and Miriam were destined for the gas chambers, but since they were twins, an SS guard took interest in them on behalf of Dr. Mengele.  The twins protested vehemently, but they were separated from their mother, never to see her again.

For me, the selection platform as a place of great discomfort and spirituality.  At times, I could feel the sorrow felt by the over one million people who went through the camp, many of whom did not survive.  It was an extremely overwhelming sensation as I attempted to grapple with where I was.  It's always been fairly easy for me to understand the historical significance of wherever I am visiting.  For example, when I saw the gate Anne Boleyn came through at the Tower of London, I immediately got a sense as wo what it would have been like for her to come through that gate on a barge and the anticipation leading up to her coronation.  While that's always helped me gain a deeper understanding of the historical locations I visit, it does come at a price when I visit somewhere like Birkenau.  The emotions were extremely overwhelming, and when we had some time to explore on our own, I just sat down on the side of the platform and tried to process through the emotions I felt.

One thing you always read about in memoirs about Auschwitz and Birkenau was the condition of the blocks.  A block is where the prisoners were kept.  Going into one of the blocks, I really got a sense of the despair and the fact that the Nazis really didn't care about the conditions; in fact, it was probably better that they were worse so people would die quicker.  This was especially true inside the blocks at Birkenau.  Even without the crowds of prisoners, the place just felt dirty.  There was no insolation, poor ventilation, and the beds were incredibly small.  It was so hard to believe how three or four people would share a single bunk.  When we walked into this block, this was definitely what I was expecting and had pictured after reading all the memoirs over the years.

On the other hand, the interior of the blocks at Auschwitz I (which I'll refer to just as "Auschwitz" from here on out") was completely different and took me by surprise.  The beds were of much higher quality (although they still slept multiple people to a single bunk), and the hallways looked like an old, abandoned basement that you might come across in an older building.  It was relatively clean, and, as odd as it may sound, I definitely got the feeling of a dormitory in a weird way.  I hate saying that, because it makes me feel like I'm trivializing what the prisoners who were there went through, because it was just as horrific as those at Birkenau, but the appearance was completely different, and it threw me for a loop.

Furthermore, the grounds looked relatively nice.  This photo to the right was taken behind the blocks at Auschwitz.  Now, I know it would have looked very different during the Holocaust, but it caused me to struggle immensely.  My brain knew I was in a place where some of the most horrible things imaginable happened, but, at the same time, it was processing some of the space as being quite pleasant.  The juxtaposition made me feel extremely uncomfortable.  At the same time, looking back, it might be nature's way of softening the edges of cruelty and providing a beautiful place for all the people who died there to rest in peace.  That's what I'm going to continue to tell myself, as it's the only way I can reconcile the beauty with the tragedy.

Unfortunately, Eva wasn't with us for the entire time we spent in both Auschwitz and Birkenau.  She was 81 at the time and in poor health from the experiments performed on her by Dr. Mengele as a young girl.  For that reason, we got two very different tours at both parks.  When Eva was with us, we saw buildings and locations unique to her story.  When Eva wasn't with her (she was sometimes resting but often at another speaking engagement), we got a tour with staff at the camp who showed us general locations of interest.  Since they knew we were with Eva, they made sure to point out anywhere that had to do with her as well, but those were often places we already saw.  Unfortunately, some of the locations, such as the block where Eva and Miriam lived in Birkenau, did not survive the war.  When the Nazis realized they were going to lose, they destroyed what they could (which was quite a bit, but they took such meticulous records that we still have plenty left to study), and even some buildings did not survive.  This was an attempt to hide what they did.  All that is left of where Eva and Miriam lived is the foundation and a sign indicating that that was where the twins all stayed.  The flowers in the photo came from Eva, she left some there and some at the memorial at the end of the train tracks.

Like I said before, the twins were brought from Birkenau to Auschwitz approximately twice a week for medical studies.  The rest of the time, they were brought to this building across from their block.  Now, this building is usually closed off to the public.  Since we were there with Eva, however, we were able to go inside.  It was completely empty and had a sand floor.  It was quite easy for me to imagine what it would have been like full of scared children, clinging to their sibling, unsure what happened to the rest of their family.  It was another overwhelming experience.  This time, however, I had others around me with whom to process the information.

If we're going to talk about emotionally draining experiences, I definitely want to take some time to talk about the crematorium.  In Birkenau, most of the crematoriums were destroyed either by prisoners when they revolted or by Nazis as Allied troops closed in.  In Auschwitz, however, there is a crematorium that remains, and visitors can go inside.  For our group, if you didn't want to, that was perfectly acceptable as well.  As uncomfortable as it made me, I knew I had to go inside; I could suffer a few minutes of discomfort to honor the countless innocent victims.  While you can take photos inside the crematorium, I elected not to.  Not only did it not feel right, but I also spent so little time in there.  Walking in, I got a small sense of what it would have been like for the victims, as I walked in with a group of people.  There was a small hallway that hooked to the right and lead back to the pretend showers.  As soon as I crossed the threshold into the actual gas chamber, I immediately felt sick to my stomach.  If anyone talked, it was in hushed whispers only heard by those standing immediately next to them.  The gas chamber was large, a few shades darker than the exterior and with a low ceiling.  Along the walls there were strange indentations; upon closer inspection, I realized they were from fingernails as victims desperately pleaded for mercy and tried to escape.  I needed air.  I immediately headed towards the next room, the actual crematorium.  In the few seconds I was in there, I noticed there were only two ovens.  Standing there was a rabbi praying in Hebrew with a group of teenagers.  Several young women held each other and cried hysterically.  I couldn't handle it anymore and ran outside.

Outside was absolutely silent.  Those from my tour group who came out just as quickly as I had were in a stunned silence.  For the few who were lucky enough to be with a loved one or friend immediately found comfort with them while I tried to process through what I just experienced.  I stood in the exact place where thousands upon thousands died a terrible death.  We were thankfully done for the day.

Eva survived Auschwitz, and she is part of some of the most famous footage from the liberation by the Soviet army.  I've started the video below at the moment Eva appears.  There is a nurse holding a young child with two little girls on her left.  Eva is the one closest to the nurse.

They actually had to shoot this footage several times.  Eva, always a character, got frustrated with this, and in one of the takes, she stuck out her tongue.  Nobody at the museum she started, CANDLES, believed her, but they found the footage and found it hilarious.

At Auschwitz, we recreated this walk together.  With a member of the tour group on either side of her, Eva lead us along the same pathway, walking in her old footsteps as she explained to us the jubilation she and Miriam felt at liberation and the hope that the rest of their family was somehow alive so they could all be together again.  In a way, it was a surprisingly uplifting and inspiring moment as we learned how Eva survived and what she and Miriam hoped would happen in the years to come.

In July 2019, Eva traveled, like she always did, to Krakow to take guests with her to Auschwitz.  She  spent time in the camps, went to give speeches nearby and acted like everything was alright.  On July 3rd, she went to bed in her hotel room, and she never woke up.  It was absolutely devastating.  I burst into my parents' room in tears, and my mom thought something was wrong with Bryan's parents.  As we talked and processed through the death, my mom had an excellent point: Eva died doing what she loved and as close to her family as she could possibly get.  In a way, she and I think it's how she would have wanted to go.

I'm forever grateful for my incredibly brief time with Eva.  She is an inspirational woman, and when I tell people I've met her, they're amazed, as many have heard about her through her documentary, Buzzfeed articles, etc.  In a way, I stand a little bit taller when people recognize her.  My experience at Auschwitz was forever changed my life, and I hope that everyone takes the time to go there one day, not only to honor those who died there but to also fully grasp the Holocaust.

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My Thoughts on "Lilac Girls"

Let me start out by saying that usually when I write about a book that I've read, I try to keep all the spoilers to the end and mark them with a big sign saying that there are spoilers coming up.  With this post, however, there are going to be spoilers throughout the entire post.  So, if you haven't read Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly or would like to avoid spoilers, this might not be the best post for you to read.  I know, I can't believe I'm telling people not to read my post, but I don't want to spoil anything for anyone!  Also, this is going to be a fairly long post.  Just like when I wrote about The King's Curse, I also want to get into some of the history of the book as well.

This book focuses on three separate stories surrounding World War II: Kasia Kuzmerick, Caroline Ferriday and Herta and Herta Oberheuser.  Two of the characters, Herta and Caroline, were real people, while Kasia was based on a real person, Janina Iwanska.  I'm going to be honest, at first I wasn't going to read this book.  The sequel (which is actually a prequel), Lost Roses, sounded far more interesting to me.  However, I decided to give it a shot.  My mom kept speaking highly of it, and if I didn't like it, I could just stop reading it.  We already owned a copy, so I had nothing to lose.

First of all, this book wasn't what I was expecting at all.  I thought the book would focus entirely around World War II and the Holocaust.  In reality, this was only about half of the book.  The second half dealt with the aftermath of the events in the first half of the book.  I found this particularly intriguing, as many books about the Holocaust don't spend that much time on the aftermath.

In this book, one of the main settings is Ravensbruck, an actual concentration camp.  Located in northern Germany, this was a camp for female prisoners from 1939 to 1945, so the entire duration of the war.  The overwhelming majority of women, approximately 40,000, were Polish, but women from all over Europe were represented there.  Additionally, roughly 80% of the inhabitants were political prisoners, like one of the characters in the book.  In all, it is estimated that about 130,000 women passed through this camp and around 50,000 of them perished.

A view of Ravensbruck courtesy of https://www.ravensbrueck-sbg.de/en/history/1939-1945/

Like I said before, Lilac Girls focuses on three different women.  They all have separate stories until they slowly begin to come together in ways that were both predictable and unpredictable over about a twenty year period.  Martha Hall Kelly does a wonderful job of discussing all three women and giving them all a chance to tell their story as fully as possible.

Caroline Ferriday

The first character I want to talk about is Caroline Ferriday.  As previously stated, she was a real person.  She lived amongst higher society in New York with her mother, and both women were philanthropists.  Previously a moderately successful actress, Caroline now volunteered her time at the French Consulate in New York City were she dedicated most of her time raising money and supplies for orphans in France.  This becomes impossible when the puppet Vichy government takes over.  In the book, Kelly also alludes to a romance between Caroline and a married French actor, although I haven't been able to find much about that online, so I don't know if was added in to just give her character a little more conflict.

In the 1950s, Caroline worked with the Ravensbruck "Rabbits", women who were used for medical experiments at the camp.  She worked tirelessly to raise awareness about them and raise funds to bring them to America.  Although the war had been over for nearly ten years at this point, many of these women now lived behind the Iron Curtain and had limited access to medical assistance that would help them overcome the ghastly injuries purposefully inflicted upon them during the war.  In the book, this includes the fictional character Kasia and her sister, Zuzanna.  In reality, Caroline and her mother really hosted four of these such women for nearly a year as they toured the country and got the medical assistance they so desperately needed.

If I'm going to be honest, I felt that Caroline's was the weakest of the two stories.  I hate saying that, because I feel like it trivializes Caroline's amazing life, but it's true.  Her story didn't interweave with the other two stories until the second half of the book, so for about 200 pages, her story just seemed out of place and completely different from Kasia and Herta's stories.  I just couldn't see how her story was going to come together with the other two.  All three stories did come together in the end, but it was definitely a struggle to see how it was going to all be done.

Kasia Kuzmerick
I'm going to talk about Kasia in two different ways.  First, I'm going to talk about her as a fictional character.  Then, I'm going to talk about the real life woman who inspired her character and the similarities between the two.

In the book, Kasia was a Catholic who worked for the Polish Resistance after a local boy she was friends with got involved in it.  Unfortunately, she was caught fairly early on and sent to Ravensbruck, along with her sister, mother, her friend and her friend's younger sister.  After being briefly detained in a ghetto, they were sent to Ravensbruck.  At Ravensbruck, Kasia and her sister were used for medical experiments, which was really just a cruel, sick form of torture.  It is later revealed that Kasia had part of her tibia removed (approximately six centimeters), and she had foreign items inserted into her leg.  Because of this, Kasia was left with extreme pain and difficulties walking.  Meanwhile, Kasia's mother, who was a trained nurse, was moved to Block One where she worked in the camp hospital doing administrative tasks.  One day, however, while her daughters were being operated on, she simply disappeared.  It takes Kasia until the very end of the book to find out what really happened to her mother.

During her time at Ravensbruck, Kasia was able to write letters to her father, who was free the entire time.  She included coded messages written in her own urine exposing the truth behind what was going on in the camp.  Her father passed this information off to the International Red Cross, along with several other foreign agencies and governments.

Eventually, Kasia and Zuzanna managed to leave the camp towards the end of the war when the International Red Cross showed up.  They first went to Sweden before heading back to Poland, only for it to fall behind the Iron Curtain.  During this time, Kasia dealt with extreme anger and resentment for what happened to her and the fact that her father moved on with a new woman in his life.  She carried this anger with her until the end of the book.

While the character of Kasia was fictional, she was based on a real person, Janina "Nina" Iwanska (sometimes spelled "Iwanski").  Unfortunately, I couldn't find a whole lot of information about Janina out there, but I will definitely keep my eye out for more and update this page with anything I do happen to come across.  Just like Kasia, Nina was part of the Polish resistance until she was caught and sent to Ravensbruck.  While in Ravensbruck, Nina became one of the "Rabbits", a term given to the women used for medical experiments for two reasons: first, they often had trouble walking and therefore had to hop from place to place and second, because they were being used for medical experiments, just like rabbits.  With the help of three other women, including her younger sister, Nina wrote coded letters to her outside family telling of everything going on in the camp.  The four women spelled out everything in extreme detail so their families knew exactly what was going on.  They even planned to escape from Ravensbruck and asked their family members for supplies.  It is unclear if they actually did escape, but all four women did end up surviving the war.

Herta Oberheuser
Like Caroline Ferriday, Herta Oberheuser was a real person.  Personally, I found her story the most fascinating in a weird, twisted way.  It was a completely different perspective from what I was used to in World War II and Holocaust books.  In a way, it reminded me of Werner from All the Light We Cannot See, who also worked for the Nazis, although he was far less passionate about the Nazi Party ideologies.  Herta, on the other hand, fully bought into the Nazi Party.  Everything she did, she did for the greater good of Germany.  It was strange and uncomfortable getting inside the head of someone who bought the party line so willingly, it was definitely a new experience for me as a reader and a historian.  The discomfort I felt definitely speaks to the quality of writing on the part of Kelly.

Herta went to Ravensbruck in 1942; she was 31 years old.  Before then, she got a medical degree and focused on dermatology.  The book discusses how Herta wanted to do more but was limited due to the fact that she was a woman, and Nazi ideology emphasized the importance of women staying home and running the household.  She served in the League of German Girls, a Nazi program for young women and eventually became assistant to Karl Gebhardt, who was Heinrich Himmler's personal physician.  Upon her arrival at Ravensbruck, Herta worked on finding a better way to treat infections.  In the book, Kelly talked about the fact that this was because one of Hitler's aides died from a wound inflicted on the battlefield and blamed the death on the fact that a specific medication was not administered to him.  Therefore, Herta recreated battle wounds on prisoners, including slicing open their legs in gruesome ways and rubbing all sorts of foreign items such as soil, glass and wood into the wound, along with bacteria.  Some women were treated with the drug in question, while others were not; all to prove to Hitler that the lack of medication administered did not lead to his aid's death.  I couldn't find anything online to lead to the veracity of this.  I hope it's not true, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

Lilac Girls also speculates about a possible romantic relationship between Kasia's mom and Herta.  It's only alluded to, and Herta does seem especially distraught when Kasia's mother disappears.  They also seemed to be more than just friends, although Kelly leaves that up to the interpretation of the reader.

After the war, Allied forces arrested Herta, and she was part of the Nuremberg trials as one of the only female doctors on trial.  She was found guilty and sentenced to twenty years in prison (it should be noted that others were executed for her crimes).  Much like the criminal justice system today, Herta did not serve her entire sentence and was released after five years for good behavior.  She opened a family practice in Germany until a Ravensbruck survivor recognized her and turned her in.  In Lilac Girls, this is slightly different.  Caroline hears rumors that Herta is practicing family medicine in Germany and pressures Kasia to go and see if it really is her.  If it is, a positive identification can help to bring Herta down and prevent her from practicing medicine in the future.  Since Kasia is a fictional character, reality is a little different.  The book ends with Kasia confronting Herta.  Free from the burden of hatred and finally embracing forgiveness, she is able to finally move on with her life and be happy.  The reader doesn't find out what happened to Herta.  In reality, news of Herta's real identity came to light.  Not only did she lose her license to practice medicine, but the German government fined her as well.  Her career as a doctor was finally over.

Believe it or not, I still have a lot to say about this book.  First of all, a lot of this book reminded me of my own experiences when I visited Auschwitz four and a half years ago.  I had the wonderful and unique experience of traveling to Krakow to visit Auschwitz with a Holocaust survivor, Eva Mozes Kor.  Like Kasia, Eva was subjected to extreme torture under the guise of medical experiments during the Holocaust, but that is where their stories diverge.  Eva was only ten years old when her family was deported to Auschwitz.  Since she and her sister, Miriam, were twins, they were selected to stay alive and be a part of Dr. Mengele's experiments.  The rest of their immediate family did not survive.

Me with Eva at our hotel in Krakow.  July 2015

During their brief time at Auschwitz (approximately nine months).  Eva, her sister and other twins were subjected to all sorts of medical experiments at the hands of Dr. Josef Mengele.  Until the day she died, Eva had no idea what exactly was done to her.  One of her life's missions was to find out, as she was convinced those experiments caused all of Miriam's health problems later in life (Eva donated her one of her kidneys at one point), and ultimately her death in 1993.  Eva lived until 2019 and died on a trip to Auschwitz on July 4th.

One thing that really stood out to me was the lack of forgiveness Kasia carried in her heart.  Understandably, she grew to resent most people around her because of what was done to her.  This was compounded by the guilt that her actions in the Polish Resistance got her mother arrested as well, eventually leading to her death.  It wasn't until Kasia confronted Herta and had her say that she was able to feel lighter and freer.  One of Eva's big messages was a message of forgiveness.  She advocated for forgiveness for everyone, not because the other person deserved it, but because you deserve to live a free life without carrying that hatred around in your heart.  I feel that Kasia really exemplified that.  While she didn't technically "forgive" Herta, but confronting her and saying what she wanted to her, she was able to finally hold her head up and live a better life.  I'm purposefully not talking a lot about Eva or going into much detail because I have an entire post planned out for the anniversary of Auschwitz's liberation next month, and I'll talk about my trip and Eva in immense detail then.

There was another small detail that most people probably missed that actually had immense meaning to me.  In the book Caroline talks to Wallis Simpson (wife of the former King Edward VIII of England) about raising funds to help the Ravensbruck women.  Wallis immediately replies that the war has been over for quite some time, and she can't imagine there are still victims who still need help getting on their feet.  This reminds me of a conversation I had with my Pop-Pop a few weeks before he died.  I spent a good two hours talking to him about everything under the sun, including his time with Germany.  During the Korean War, the United States and the rest of the world worried that some still sympathetic towards Nazism would try to do something while the rest of the world was distracted with the problems in Korea.  For that reason, my Pop-Pop and others were deployed to Germany during the war. 

Pop-Pop relaxing while stationed in Germany sometime in the early 1950's.

Although my mom isn't sure of exactly when he went over to Korea (she thinks sometime in 1951), but she knows he returned to the United States in 1953.  That means he was there 6-8 years after the end of World War II.  Despite this, there was still a displaced persons camp right next to the army base.  While visiting with Pop-Pop, he told me about his experiences with the victims still living in the camp nearly a decade later.  He told me he and the other soldiers would even pay them to do their laundry with cigarettes.  All of this completely surprised me, just like it surprised Wallis Simpson that there were people who needed help.

Overall, I thought Lilac Girls was an amazing book, far better than I expected.  I thought the history was absolutely fascinating, and there were several personal connections I had to the book that drew me to it even more.  I can't wait to get my hands on the prequel and any other books Kelly writes in the future.

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An Evening with Eva Schloss

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine from Lee reached out to me asking if I wanted to go hear Eva Schloss talk at Magruder High School.  For those of you unfamiliar with the name, Eva was Anne Frank's step sister, her mom married Otto Frank after they both lost their spouses to the Holocaust.

Now, although Eva advertises herself as Anne Frank's step sister, I personally feel that that diminishes her story.  She is an incredible Holocaust survivor with an amazing story in her own right, and her time with Anne Frank (they knew each other before the war) is only a small fraction of that story.

Just like when I traveled to Auschwitz with Eva Mozes Kor to hear her story a few years ago, I intentionally didn't read anything about Eva Schloss before hearing her speak.  I wanted to go in with a blank slate and hear her story straight from the source.  It is important to note that Eva has in fact written a book titled Eva's Story, which I am looking to add to my library at some point in the future.

Before I jump into Eva's story, I wanted to talk quickly about something my friend said when we arrived at Magruder.  While looking for a place to park, I noticed a large number of police cars in the parking lot.  At first, I naively thought there was driving school going on there too.  Inside, however, I saw police officers standing around everywhere.  Lisa said to me, "I'm so glad the police are here."  At that moment, it dawned on me.  I've lived in my little Catholic bubble my entire life.  With the exception of a rare instance in middle school and another in college, I've never been put down for being Catholic, and I've definitely had to worry about violence being taken out against me for my religion.  Unfortunately, those of the Jewish faith are not so fortunate.  Events like this are perfect for anti-Semetic people with hatred in their hearts to carry out violence against a population they deem less than simply because of their faith.  I just wish they'd sit down and hear the stories of survivors like Eva in order to understand that Jews are people just like them.  Everyone on this planet has different beliefs, and we should celebrate those differences instead of weaponizing them.  Thankfully, nothing happened, but people of any faith should be able to gather without hiring extra security to keep them safe.

Photo of Eva Schloss courtesy of https://nmsuroundup.com/12845/campus-life/anne-franks-step-sister-holocaust-survivor-eva-schloss-visits-nmsu/

Eva grew up in Vienna, Austria.  She was a precocious and adventurous child with an older brother who was more reserved and musically inclined.  In 1938, however, Eva's life changed when Austria welcomed the Nazis with open arms.  The next day, her brother was jumped by his best friends and beaten up.  Additionally, Eva had a Catholic best friend, and she used to go to her house every day after school.  The day after the Nazi's arrived, her best friend's mom stopped her in the door and told her, "I never want to see you here again" before slamming the door in her face.  It surprised me at how quickly sentiments towards Jews changed, although anti-Semitism had been a part of European culture for quite some time unfortunately.

Eva's father owned a factory, and he was able to use his business connections to move himself to Holland to help work at another factory.  Unfortunately, his family could not follow after him and were instead forced to go to Belgium.  They were lucky to have gotten into Belgium in the first place, as by 1938/1939, no country wanted to take in Jewish refugees.  Eva lived with her brother and mother in Belgium for a year where they still struggled with anti-Semitic sentiments.  For her tenth birthday, Eva was able to invited five friends over to celebrate.  When the day of the party came, each girl arrived with a note from her parents saying she was not allowed to attend the party.

In February 1940, Eva and her family finally got visas so they could go visit her father in Holland for three months.  They had a beautiful little apartment and even had a piano.  Eva was able to play in the streets with other children in the neighborhood.  One day, a little girl with dark hair came up and introduced herself.  It was Anne Frank.  Anne immediately took her home to meet her parents.

Photograph of Anne Frank (second from left in green dress) and Eva (fourth from left), along with their friends.  Courtesy of http://www.jewishledger.com/2018/10/evas-story/

It's important to note here that Eva and Anne had very similar experiences leading up to the war, albeit not identical.  Both spoke German, although Anne's family was from Germany, not Austria.  Otto Frank was a very patriotic German and even served in World War I, but when the Nazi Party started gaining traction in 1933, he read the writing on the wall and took his family to Holland, just like Eva's father.

At this point during her presentation, Eva took some time to talk to us about Anne Frank as a person.  She's a name that nearly everyone in Western society knows in some capacity, and yet, we don't know her because she died at such a tragically young age.  Anne was a huge chatterbox, to the point that her nickname was Ms. Quack Quack.  She got in trouble all the time at school for talking during class.  By the time she was 11, Anne was already obsessed with boys, which is something that came out quite clearly in her diary.  As soon as she learned that Eva had an older brother, she announced, "Okay, we'll go to your house then."  Much to her disappointment, however, Eva's brother wanted nothing to do with Anne.

Eventually, the Nazis invaded Holland.  To its credit, Holland did try to hold out for as long as possible and fight back against the Nazis, but Germany threatened to pretty much level every civilian city until they capitulated.  Unfortunately, Holland was forced to surrender after putting up a valiant fight.  At first, Eva saw the Nuremberg Laws as a nuisance as her rights were slowly taken away.  Her mother insisted that she never take off her coat with her Star of David sewn on the front unless her dress underneath also had a Star of David sewn onto it.  People started disappearing in the middle of the night, never to be seen again.  Perhaps the worst thing Nazis did at this time was go to the Jewish schools (all Jewish children were forced to go to a separate school at this point), round up entire classes of children and march them off, never to be seen again.  The parents had no idea until their children didn't come home from school that night.  They would go to the police and even go to the Gestapo, but no one would help them.  It later came out that the children were marched to Mauthausen, a nearby death camp that had a large quarry.  The children were thrown to their deaths in that quarry.

In June 1942, after his family was in Holland for two years, Eva's father decided that they needed to go into hiding.  They went into hiding for the same reason the Frank family did.  Eva's older brother, Heinz, just like Anne's older sister, Margot, got a letter from the Nazis saying they'd be deported to go work in a factory in Germany.  Many Jewish teens between the ages of 16 and 25 got these letters.  It kicked the need to go into hiding into high gear.  Since it would be almost impossible to find a family that would be willing to hide four people, they split into two groups: Eva and her mother went one place, and her father and her brother went elsewhere.  Her father said they had a better chance of survival, which made Eva realize that what was going on around them was a matter of life or death.

Over the course of two years, Eva and her mother moved to seven different hiding places.  Since they were staying in people's houses, and the Nazis could show up at any moment to search for hidden Jews, they needed a hiding place within their hiding place.  This was never a problem for Anne Frank since she hid in a commercial building.  Eva and her mother had false papers, which allowed them every once in a while to go visit her father and brother.  It definitely helped that she had blonde hair and blue eyes and therefore didn't "look Jewish".

After two years of hiding, Eva's father and brother were being blackmailed for more money by the people hiding them, so they had to find someone else to hide them.  They were being hidden by the Dutch Resistance the entire time, and the organization found them a nurse who was willing to take them in.  A few days after Eva and her mother visited them, however, her father and brother were arrested; the nurse had been a double agent.  The Nazis also followed Eva and her mother back to their hiding spot and arrested them a few days later.  It was her fifteenth birthday.  First, the entire family was taken to Gestapo Headquarters before being sent to a holding camp in northern Holland.  Eva swore she was only there for two days, as she has no memory of being there really.  Recently, however, she learned she was actually there for ten days.

After ten days in the holding camp, they were loaded onto boxcars and sent on a 3-4 day journey.  Just like others who went on a similar journey, they had little food or water, endured overcrowded conditions and blistering heat.  This was the last time they were together as a family.  It was during this time that Eva's brother told her that while they were in hiding he started painting and writing poetry since he couldn't play music any longer.  He hid all his paintings and poetry in a safe place with a note saying who he was and that he intended to go back for them at some point in the future.  Eva's father also told his family that he could no longer protect them.  He'd done everything he could to help them, but there was nothing more that he could do for them.

After several days, they arrived at Auschwitz.  It's important to note that Eva and her family knew about the camps, albeit not in extreme detail.  This came from the fact that while in hiding, the Resistance fighters hiding them had illegal radios.  The BBC would send out radio transmissions to all the occupied countries in their native language telling them what was really happening in the war.  This gave them information others, not even some Nazis, were privy to.  For that reason, they knew about Auschwitz and that it was not a place they wanted to be.  At this point, Eva and her mother were separated from her brother and father.  She also came face to face with Dr. Mengele.  At this point, the stars were aligned to keep Eva alive.  A woman gave her mother a large hat, and her mother gave it to her.  Eva didn't want to wear it, but her mother insisted.  She is convinced that for this reason, Dr. Mengele couldn't see how young she really was, or else he would have sent her to the gas chambers immediately.  This began Eva's horrible time at Auschwitz.

Photograph I took while visiting Auschwitz in 2015.

While at Auschwitz, prisoners were given showers and de-loused once a week.  Dr. Mengele was always present during this time to ascertain if prisoners were healthy enough to keep around.  During one of these times, he saw that Eva's mother was far thinner than other prisoners and selected her to be sent off, presumably to the gas chambers.  Eva was now alone in Auschwitz.  Just a few weeks later, Eva was pulled from her work detail by a Kapo who said someone wanted her outside.  Fearing the worst, she went outside, only to be reunited with her father.  It broke her heart, but she told him that her mother was dead.  This obviously destroyed him.  They were fortunate enough to see each other a handful of times after that, but she never saw her brother again.

Slowly, the SS officers and kapos began to abandon the camp.  Gates were left open, prisoners weren't working every day, they had no idea what was going on.  Approximately two or three months after being separated, Eva found out her mother was alive but at another camp (Auschwitz is a series of camps).  She didn't believe it at first, until she was able to venture out and see for herself.  Sure enough, her mother was alive, albeit extremely weak.  Just a few days later, the Russians liberated the camp.  At this point in her presentation, Eva made a few jokes about how we might not get along too much with Russia right now, but, at the time, she thought they were fantastic.  She also insisted that we be grateful to them, as they lost 30 million people (civilians and soldiers) during World War II (the next highest was Great Britain with 450,000).  After liberation, Eva went over the men's camp searching for her father and brother.  At this point, she ran into a man she knew she recognized, but she couldn't quite place the face.  It was Otto Frank.  He told her that her father and brother had been marched away by the Nazis.  He also asked about his own wife and daughters, but she didn't know where they were.

Photo of Otto Frank courtesy of https://www.annefrank.org/en/anne-frank/main-characters/otto-frank/

Following the end of the war, Eva and her mother marched for four months with the Russians to Odessa.  They stayed there for a while before finally making their way back to Holland.  They returned there in June of 1945.  The Nazis occupied Holland until the very end of the war, so there wasn't a lot of food left for anyone.  A Christian family had taken over Eva's family's apartment, but they were able to get it back after the war.  Otto Frank had nothing, so he stayed with Miep Gies and her family in their small apartment.  He frequently came over to visit with Eva and her mother, however, along with anyone else who had survived hoping for information about his wife and daughters.  Eventually, Eva and her mother got a letter from the Red Cross saying both her father and brother had perished a few days before the United States liberated Mauthausen.  Eva believes her brother died first, and her father, believing her mother dead and it impossible for Eva to survive herself, simply gave up.  At this point, Eva explained that the only way to survive something as horrific as the Holocaust was to have the sheer willpower; once you give up, you're dead in a matter of days.

One day, Otto showed up with Anne's diary, which he found in the Secret Annex where they hid.  He read them passages from it, but it took him three weeks to read because it was so emotionally trying.  At first, he didn't want to publish the diary, but he was eventually persuaded.  Unfortunately, the diary was initially a flop.  It wasn't until it was published in the United States that it gained fame in 1952. 

In an attempt to help Eva, Otto got her a photography apprenticeship in London for a year in 1951.  She stayed in a boarding house where there was a young man approximately her age.  They would often go on walks together, and one day he proposed.  She politely said, "No thank you."  Otto visited shortly thereafter, and she told him about the man's proposal.  She felt that she still had to go back and take care of her mother after her apprenticeship finished.  At this point, Otto told her that he and her mother had fallen in love and wanted to get married.  Eva went back to the young man and said, "Okay, you can marry me."  They got married and still live in England.

Photograph of Eva and her husband, Zvi, on their wedding day.  Courtesy of http://www.jewishledger.com/2018/10/evas-story/

At this point, Eva took some time to give her thoughts on her step-sister's diary.  Although they never lived together as step-siblings, they did know each other before the Holocaust, so she was able to provide some insight into Anne's writings.  Eva started out by saying that Anne's book isn't a good one if you want to learn about the Holocaust, because her story ends when her experiences with the Holocaust begin.  This is something that I agree with.  Anne's story is wonderful if you want to know what life was like for Jews before the Holocaust and what it was like for someone hiding from the Nazis.

Photo courtesy of https://www.goalcast.com/2018/02/27/25-anne-frank-quotes/

Eva also took time to talk about one of the most famous quotes from Anne Frank's diary: "It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality.  It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical.  Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart."  This quote has been a rallying cry for survivors, to show that despite the horrific experiences they had to endure, not everyone is like that.  And yet, Eva throws a wrinkle into that.  It's important to remember that this quote was written when Anne was still in the Secret Annex; she hadn't experienced being ripped away from her parents and the nightmare that was Auschwitz.  Eva believes had Anne survived, she wouldn't have been so optimistic about the rest of the world.

An important anecdote I want to add is about Eva's brother's paintings.  She went back to where he said he hid them and found them.  She ended up donating them to the Dutch Resistance Museum, where you can see them today.  They're absolutely gorgeous, you can also find photos of them online.

One of Heinz Geiringer's paintings.  Photo courtesy of https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/21/eva-geiringer-schloss-auschwitz-holocaust-survivor-heinz-paintings

Overall, I had a wonderful time.  I've seen about six different survivors speak over the years, and each one has a different story.  Like I said before, I think it's important to understand that while Eva is Anne Frank's step-sister, she has her own unique story that can stand on its own two feet and should be appreciated.  I can't wait to get my hands on her book and read about her in more detail.  Once I do, you can be sure to hear about it right here.

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